Debut or Die - Chapter 475
At least between us, things were clearly settled. I can’t work with the current Eugene. Whether it’s a personal schedule, a short event, or a barely secured group reality show filming.
“It can’t be helped.”
“Hmm.”
…But is it really okay that my 10-minute attempt on the balcony was the end of the persuasion? It’s convenient for me since the conversation was quick, but still, a month’s schedule was set based on this.
“Well, if Moondae can’t do it, then.”
“Yeah.”
“…”
If that’s the case.
“Let’s just tell them it’s a health issue next week and take Eugene out of the schedule completely.”
“Yes. And if we delay the reality show filming a bit, we can shoot Eugene separately later to add his portion.”
“Got it. I’ll call the PD first thing tomorrow morning about it.”
Now that we have some shares in the company, it feels a bit less unfair to handle all these detailed tasks ourselves.
After quickly sorting out the situation, I spoke briefly to Bae Sejin, who was holding the script. I thought it might be a good idea to mention this. “Hyung.”
“Why, what is it?”
“Should we switch rooms?”
“…What?”
“I think you feel uncomfortable around strangers. Since you have more schedules these days, it would be better for you to relax in your room.”
…That’s half true, but honestly, it’s because Eugene feels uncomfortable around you, and the room situation doesn’t look good. However, contrary to my expectation that Bae Sejin would readily agree, he just scoffed.
“No need. I’m not that sensitive.”
“…”
Self-awareness… Well, whatever.
He’s so busy with filming that he mostly just sleeps anyway.
The chances were high that both of them would just quietly do their own thing without talking much. It was better to leave it as is… rather than risk creating conflict by pushing the issue.
As long as it doesn’t cause any stomach problems, it’s fine.
“Okay.”
I decided to leave it for now, keeping the door open just in case. What I didn’t consider was that Bae Sejin had become more confident and enthusiastic about his role as the eldest. So, when I heard a shout from that room in the middle of the night two days later…
“…!!”
F*ck.
“…Moondae, did you just hear that?”
“Yes.”
I instinctively jumped up and guessed. The probability really hit it, damn it.
STier Cha Eugene must have lost patience and snapped, or maybe he got confused in his sleep! He said he knew it was someone else, but was he just keep talking big… about keeping boundaries…?
But when the members rushed out and looked into the room.
“Don’t talk like that!”
The shout… was Bae Sejin yelling at Cha Eugene.
….?
“Wh-What’s going on?”
Seriously, what is this?
* * *
It was a few days ago.
Phew.
Bae Sejin took a short, deep breath and stood in front of his room. Earlier, he had confidently told Park Moondae that he was fine… but in truth, he was a bit nervous. It was still a struggle to stay in the same space with someone he wasn’t close to. Cha Eugene, who had changed like another person, was no different. It was unfamiliar, indeed.
But… I’ve grown too. He was no longer a child who would get up and leave or try to avoid it blindly just because he was uncomfortable. He could face the situation! And it had already been over a year since he started rooming with Cha Eugene. After all, they were in the same body, so he figured he could endure it out of habit.
…Alright.
He opened the door energetically.
Creek.
“…”
But Cha Eugene didn’t look back. No, he didn’t even glance at him. He just lay on the bed, tossing and catching a football.
Ugh.
Bae Sejin nodded towards Cha Eugene unilaterally (he regretted doing this immediately after) and then lay down on his own bed. Phew…
He opened his script, but he felt restless. He wasn’t sure if he was upset about the situation, feeling hurt, or if it was a sense of duty. However… separate from emotions, he couldn’t help but be a bit curious.
How… was I living?
He meant the version of himself that experienced <Idol Inc> without ‘Park Moondae’ as this alternate Eugene did.
Bae Sejin could make some guesses. Judging by the fact that this alternate Eugene’s attitude wasn’t very friendly, he probably didn’t debut. Since he was uncooperative throughout, Eugene might only remember him from that first impression. No, the chances of that were high.
Anyway, since I gained some recognition, I might continue acting… But if I was still with the ‘Dream K’ agency, he probably wasn’t doing anything significant.
“…”
He knew it was a pointless thought. It wasn’t something he experienced right now anyway.
It’s just a guess in the first place… A speculation that drains his mental energy. But delving deeply into such thoughts was also a characteristic of Bae Sejin.
…Let’s stop!
But now, he has learned how to challenge himself!
Bae Sejin took a deep breath once more and stopped thinking unnecessarily. Instead, he read the script thoroughly once and went to bed. After managing his anxiety well and diligently following his schedule, he moved again at the same late hour the next day. Because he had prepared a secret weapon.
“…Want some?”
Bae Sejin took out a recycled paper envelope from the box by his bedside and handed it to alternate Eugene. It was Bae Sejin’s homemade candy, which Cha Eugene liked the most.
Homemade candy!
His mother would buy it from a friend’s homemade candy shop and send it to him, and Cha Eugene would always crave it, saying it tasted like ‘home.’
“Oh, nope.”
“…”
He used to crave it…
“Hyung, buy a lot of this! I like it.”
“…I’ll ask my mom about it.”
“Oh!!”
…He ate the brownies though!
Bae Sejin suddenly missed his noisy and talkative roommate immensely… So, holding back his emotions, he continued speaking firmly. “Ahem, okay. Um, and under your bed, there are snacks and hobby items you used to keep. If you get bored… you can use them.”
“Got it.”
His words were affirmative. But on the bed, the current Cha Eugene didn’t move. It meant he didn’t even pretend to look for them. It was a subtle disregard.
“…”
Until now, Bae Sejin hadn’t been sure because of the chaotic group interactions. But now, having a one-on-one conversation, the sensitive Bae Sejin noticed immediately.
…What’s with this guy?
Contempt.
Hostility, a condescending attitude.
Bae Sejin, who was used to and sensitive to such things, instantly recognized the very subtle non-verbal expressions of Cha Eugene. Even if he didn’t try to show it, the perceptive Bae Sejin could read it.
“…”
Bae Sejin didn’t get angry. Instead, he turned his head to the script, but his heart was pounding.
What is this?
Why is he… acting like this towards him?
Could it be because he couldn’t debut before… and became a ridiculously pathetic person?
Come to think of it, it only applied toward him….
Let’s stop this.
It felt like a victim mentality. And he didn’t want to be someone who gets swayed by just one person’s attitude anymore!
Bae Sejin calmed his mind and tried to turn his gaze back to the script. It was then.
“Are you close with the me here?”
“…!”
Cha Eugene… spoke. Of course, it wasn’t in a particularly friendly tone. It was almost like talking to himself, an offhand remark. It even seemed close to a tone of disbelief.
Bae Sejin answered sincerely. “Because we’re in the same group… ahem, and we share a room too.”
“Umm, isn’t this a new dorm?”
Since they had just become roommates in a new place, it meant they had only been sharing a room for a few days at most. However, Bae Sejin shook his head.
“We just moved, but we were roommates for over a year before. We’re still sharing a room just like in the previous dorm.”
“…”
Cha Eugene kept silent, but something suddenly clicked in Bae Sejin’s mind.
Huh?
It was the next part of the conversation. It felt like it was being typed out in his head, fitting together like a script.
If that’s the case… Wait, could this be an opportunity?
“Um, but it’s going to change soon.” Bae Sejin swallowed and spoke up more assertively. “I think we’ll be changing roommates when we start filming the reality show.”
A brief glance that seemed to ask, ‘So what?’ came his way.
Bae Sejin tried to speak as gently as possible, imitating Ryu Chungwoo’s way of talking. “So, I was wondering if you could participate in the filming to choose the room you want.”
“…”
“During the filming, we’ll try to get you the room you want…”
“I don’t mind. Any room is fine, and I don’t care who I share it with.”
Why was this guy so good at Korean…! Bae Sejin wanted to close his eyes tightly, but the main point he wanted to make was in the next part of the conversation.
“…Okay. But! It could be uncomfortable. You’d have to stay somewhere other than the dorm during the filming. And you wouldn’t be able to go out much.”
Since they would say Cha Eugene was sick publicly, he would have to stay in a hospital or hotel.
It would be very frustrating. Instead of that, it might be better to say it’s a leg injury and skip the stage but participate in at least one group reality show…
Bae Sejin was trying to calmly organize his thoughts and explain. But then a laugh was heard. It was a bitter laugh.
“Why should I do that?”
“…What?
“Leaving the dorm is fine.” Cha Eugene looked at Bae Sejin with a blank expression as if his smile had never been there. “But where I live after that is up to me. It’s my body, and I’ll do as I please. OK?”
“…”
Bae Sejin couldn’t respond for a moment. It wasn’t because there was nothing to say.
This is…
Until now, Bae Sejin had tried to understand from Cha Eugene’s perspective as much as possible. How confusing and difficult must it be to suddenly find oneself in a strange environment with different memories without anyone in the same situation? Thinking back , Cha Eugene was quite composed. He truly thought so.
However…
Even so, declaring that one would do whatever they wanted with the body that originally belonged to ‘TeSTAR Cha Eugene,’ potentially causing great trouble, was…
That’s violence.
Taking someone else’s clothes just because you’re cold isn’t right. That wasn’t individualism; it was selfishness. That’s what he thought. So,
“No.” Bae Sejin spoke firmly. “What are you talking about?”
* * *
It was early morning. Bae Sejin’s voice echoed through the room.
“I understand that you’re confused and having a hard time. But… that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want.”
“…”
“I’ve also vented my stress on others and had to apologize, so I know what I’m talking about.”
“Uh, Hyung.” Keun Sejin cautiously interrupted. “What did Eugene say? Um…”
“…During the reality show filming, he said he won’t participate. Then he has to leave the dorm for a while…”
Bae Sejin clenched their fist. “And then he said he’d just wander around as he pleased.”
“…!”
“And for the next month, he said he’d do whatever he wanted!”
Ah, damn it.
I glanced at Cha Eugene. He was still staring at Bae Sejin. It felt like there had been a few verbal exchanges between them.
First, trying to confirm… No, it seemed like trying to argue would only escalate things. I decided to attempt a neutral approach.
I deliberately spoke to Cha Eugene calmly, without siding with Bae Sejin’s anger. “We used ‘health reasons’ as an excuse for your absence from activities. It’s the most reasonable excuse.”
“…”
Even this Cha Eugene, who had experience as an idol, would acknowledge that.
“So, if it’s okay, I’d like you to at least somewhat act in line with that excuse.”
“(Say whatever you want.)” Cha Eugene responded in a low voice. “(I’ll do the same.)”
Damn it. This guy was pissed off too.
So, you think we’ve crossed the line.
I started trying hard not to think of any extreme solutions, even though they were effective.
At that moment.
“(We didn’t drag you into this situation. We’re just a few people caught up in it, just like you.)”
A calm voice in English was heard. It was Seon Ahyeon. He chose his words very carefully and politely.
“(We believe we’ve done our best to show consideration for you. If there were any shortcomings, wouldn’t you be willing to communicate and address them?)”
“…”
Cha Eugene remained silent. Then, he let out a low sigh. “Your so-called consideration has a purpose. It’s not consideration; it’s control. Control.”
What?
“(Simply put, ‘Until our Cha Eugene returns, please refrain from any activities that might hinder his career.’)”
“…!”
“(All your focus is on that. I’m not blaming you. But you can’t blame me either. So…)” STier Cha Eugene moved his neck. “(TeSTAR? Sorry, but that’s not my concern.)”
And in the next moment.
“…!!”
He started heading towards the entrance.
“Wait,”
“What is he doing?”
Everyone reacted a beat too late to the sudden situation. The fact that Ryu Chungwoo was standing on the outermost edge was also a problem, and above all, they were too unfamiliar with him to react quickly.
Damn it.
I immediately tried to lock the entrance with my pad, but he opened the door first. And in an instant, he got into the elevator and pressed the close button.
“Hey!”
This means,
…He pressed the elevator button in advance.
This guy… did he plan to leave all along?
As I gritted my teeth and looked back at the entrance.
“Cha Eugene!”
“…”
The closed elevator didn’t open, but Kim Raebin asked. “Where are you going?”
I could see his lips moving.
“I don’t know.”
And the elevator descended.
STier Cha Eugene left the dormitory like that.