Paladin of a Fallen Order (Novel) - Chapter 72 - Love of the Goddess
Chapter 72 – Love of the Goddess
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Translated by Pratt
Read it only at Novelbyu.com & Utoon.net
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A few days later. Vireon saw off Elbridge’s party in front of the open fortress gate.
“If you need help, come find me anytime.”
“Will do.”
Subsequently, Vireon spoke to the members of the Order of the Flowing Water, including Isalvius.
“If you ever need a place to lean on, come find me.”
It was almost the same as what he had said to Elbridge, but the feeling carried in his tone was different.
Rather than offering to be an ally, it meant they should come if they intended to serve the God of the Silver Harpoon.
The believers of the Order of the Flowing Water quietly turned their heads.
Someday such a day might come, but not yet.
Elbridge, Rombel, Marcus, and the priests and paladins of the Order of the Flowing Water headed south.
Since most of the believers of the Order of the Flowing Water lived around the Lake of Eternity, they could serve as guides for Elbridge’s party.
A corner of Elbridge’s heart was heavy.
‘I didn’t think the war would end in this way…’
The war ended powerlessly.
It was a war that had started in order to monopolize the authority of healing.
However, with the disappearance of the God of the Flowing Water, the authority of healing had also vanished, so there was no longer any reason for the respective orders to fight each other. That was the reason Vireon readily let the people of the Order of the Flowing Water go.
Rombel spoke.
“Elbridge.”
“What is it?”
“Of the three hundred years of my life, I have lived over two hundred of them among humans. I have seen people fighting until I was sick of it. But this is the first time I’ve seen a war like this.”
“In what way?”
“In every dispute and war I’ve seen, there was a victor. Even if only one out of a hundred won, and even if the spoils of war that victor obtained were incredibly trivial, there was always a victor. But in this war, there is no victor. Not a single one.”
Elbridge fell into thought.
What was left in this war?
The dead, the wounded.
Fallen orders. Orders on the verge of ruin. Orders that fortunately did not suffer great damage.
Hatred and resentment.
And the believers who had lost their god…
Grrr.
Elbridge looked in the direction the sound had come from.
It was a ground boar. The ground boar was digging up the soil, and as many people approached, it was stealthily slipping away.
‘…In a way, those guys are victims too.’
Elbridge continued his thoughts.
If it were other regions, the surviving factions would have at least expanded their spheres of influence, but the south was not such a region.
From long ago, land had always been in surplus. What was always lacking was the environment, and the people to live while fighting against magic beasts.
Since even the people had decreased in a land where many were needed to survive, it was certain that the lives of the southern people would become even more difficult.
Rombel was right.
Not a single person benefited from this war.
Elbridge spoke.
“It is true that there is no victor in this war. But this isn’t the first time a war like this has happened.”
“Really? Was there another war without a victor?”
“The war against the demon. There was no victor in that war either. Everyone only suffered damage.”
“No. That war was precisely the one that obtained the greatest thing. It obtained a peace that lasted for two hundred years, didn’t it?”
Elbridge answered grumpily.
“I have never tasted such peace.”
“That’s because you stepped in shit.”
Elbridge’s fist clenched tight.
“Why not express it as heroic devotion and sacrifice instead?”
At that, Rombel snorted.
“Heroic devotion? I didn’t see the scene of sealing the Great Demon, but I can roughly imagine the situation. The paladins were probably watching each other, wishing someone would step forward… and in the midst of that, you were swept along by the atmosphere and stepped up.”
Elbridge was inwardly startled. It was because Rombel’s guess was too precisely correct.
The paladins who had fought the Great Demon risking their lives quietly held back after they had subdued the Great Demon. Now that peace and prosperity were to come, who would want to volunteer for such a sacrifice?
Elbridge had disliked that uncomfortable atmosphere, and because he thought of himself as the most suitable person, he volunteered for the sacrifice. Of course, as Rombel said, it was also a decision made somewhat being swept along by the atmosphere.
However, since there was no one to testify to that situation, Elbridge could speak confidently.
“No. I didn’t hesitate in the slightest. I gladly volunteered for the mission everyone else was reluctant to take.”
“Actually, that kind of thing isn’t important. Whether you were pushed and stepped in shit, or you stretched out your own foot and stepped in it. In the end, it’s the same that you stepped in shit, isn’t it?”
Elbridge’s fist flew, cutting through the empty air.
But as if he had expected it, Rombel reached out his hand and caught Elbridge’s fist.
Should he swing his fist again, or should he move to the next step?
The answer was the latter. As soon as Elbridge’s hand touched the hilt of his sword, Rombel quickly changed his attitude.
“Of course, the opposite expression also holds. Whether you took on that role because you were pushed, or you volunteered without hesitation. It doesn’t change the fact that the result was heroic devotion. Doesn’t it?”
“….”
Whether it was a mere face-saving remark or he truly thought so, there was no way to know. But it was a story Elbridge had desperately wanted to hear.
Because ever since two hundred years ago, Elbridge had felt a small sense of shame about the fact that he had stepped forward after hesitating slightly.
If I was going to step forward anyway, I should have stepped forward without hesitating.
If I was going to hesitate, I shouldn’t have volunteered to be the sacrificial lamb of the seal and should have shamelessly held out to the end… How many times had he had such regrets?
‘…A seal.’
Coincidentally, even now, they were on the way to create a seal.
Elbridge fiddled with the nucleus left behind by the God of the Flowing Water.
The nuclei left by demons vary in both size and shape.
And the nucleus left behind by the God of the Flowing Water looked like the seed of a fruit. The shape was slightly bumpy, and the size was at most about the size of a thumb.
The unusual thing was the color.
Unlike the nuclei of other demons, which were usually black or dark red, the nucleus left by the God of the Flowing Water was gray.
As if saying that he had not yet become a complete demon.
“Rombel.”
“Yeah?”
“You said you would become a god for your kin.”
“Yeah.”
You won’t become a demon too, will you? Elbridge was about to say that, but held his tongue.
But Rombel read the unspoken words through Elbridge’s expression.
Rombel smirked and spoke.
“If my wife were alive, I might have become a demon for her. But my wife died long ago. Of course, I care about my other kin too… but not as much as my wife. We haven’t had much interaction for over two hundred years either. So there is no way I would follow in the footsteps of the God of the Flowing Water.”
Elbridge nodded.
When, a low laughter burst out from behind.
Wahahaha—
Looking back, Marcus was talking with the people of the Order of the Flowing Water.
Since Marcus was someone who could not tolerate a gloomy atmosphere, he would strike up conversations with this person and that person to lift the sunken mood.
Rombel blended in among the people to help Marcus.
Left alone, Elbridge offered a prayer to the Goddess of the Rusty Shield.
“Goddess.”
It was the first prayer he had offered in several days since defeating the God of the Flowing Water.
As if she had been waiting, the Goddess of the Rusty Shield sent down an oracle.
– I am listening, Elbridge. If you need your Goddess’s help, speak quickly.
“I just wanted to talk a little.”
– Your Goddess is always ready to listen to the worries of her most faithful knight. Even if it is a shameful worry, go ahead and pour out all your concerns.
Elbridge laughed in spite of himself.
Whenever he talked with the Goddess of the Rusty Shield, somehow strength surged through his entire body.
“Goddess. I think I now know the reason why the gods do not easily send down oracles.”
– What do you think that reason is?
“In the past, I thought it was to spare even a little bit of their authority, or to maintain authority by keeping a proper distance from their believers.”
– Usually, people know it that way.
“But in reality… isn’t it to maintain a proper distance from the believers?”
The Goddess of the Rusty Shield laughed quietly.
– That is correct, Elbridge.
The gods, too, were once human.
Humans who rejoiced when a good relationship was formed, and suffered when they let go of a good relationship.
If they could not overcome those human emotions, a god might wield unauthorized power and end up becoming a demon. Just like the God of the Flowing Water had.
But there was a safe path for the gods.
By cutting off interest and keeping distance from the believers, they could remain a heavenly god forever.
Refraining from sending down oracles and not forming personal relationships would be the most secure way to keep distance from the believers.
‘A god who truly loves and cares for their believers is prone to becoming a demon. On the other hand, a god who stands by as a spectator, or a god who accepts the relationship between themselves and their believers as a simple transaction, can remain in heaven forever.’
That paradoxical situation confused Elbridge.
‘If the demons I’ve fought until now were actually gods who truly loved their believers…’
His mind grew complicated.
Elbridge continued his thoughts, wrapping them up, and asked the Goddess of the Rusty Shield.
“Goddess. When the ground boars were swarming the fortress, you told me. That you would save me no matter what cost you had to bear.”
The Goddess of the Rusty Shield played dumb.
– Mmm, I do not remember well.
“…You definitely said so.”
– Ah, I think I remember now. Why did you suddenly bring up that story?
Elbridge asked carefully.
“I was just curious as to what method you were planning to use to save me, Goddess.”
– Your Goddess is a goddess endowed with endless charm and ability, so there are countless authorities I have yet to show you. I intended to rescue you using one of those authorities.
Pfft.
Impiously, a laugh burst out.
If Marcus had not worked hard to lift the mood, it would have been a rather awkward situation.
“Is that true?”
– Of course. Your Goddess can use at least four times as much authority as the God of the Flowing Water, so if I scrape up the permitted authority down to the very bottom, I can easily rescue you, Elbridge, without crossing the line.
“Hmph…”
Whether because Elbridge’s reaction was unsatisfying, the Goddess sent down an oracle, feigning anger.
– I hope you are not doubting your Goddess, Elbridge.
“Of course, I always believe in you, Goddess, from the bottom of my heart.”
– I knew you would.
Yet Elbridge still had questions remaining.
“Goddess. May I ask more questions?”
– Your Goddess is a respectable mid-tier goddess, so I can take your questions all day long.
“Over the past two hundred years, haven’t there been difficult moments for you as well, Goddess?”
Whether Elbridge’s question was unexpected, the Goddess’s oracle returned after a slight time lag.
– …That is the first time I have received such a question.
In a way, it was natural.
Because even as people offered prayers asking the god to recognize their own pain, they did not tend to fathom the pain of the god.
Who dare associate a god with suffering?
Elbridge did not press the Goddess for an answer and walked slowly.
How much time had passed like that? An oracle descended once more.
– Of course, there were many difficult moments, Elbridge.
“At what moments did you consider it difficult?”
A believer wishing to fathom the suffering of a god. In a way, it might be a terrible blasphemy.
But Elbridge thought everyone needed moments like this.
Even if the counterpart was a god, it would be no exception.
The first words were what he had easily expected.
– When watching the death of a paladin.
There were always few paladins in the Order of the Rusty Shield.
Since the Goddess had to watch over each paladin for a long time, the sense of loss she had to feel every time a paladin died must have been that much greater.
– When believers offered prayers without expecting any reward. When I could not help those believers even as they were dying miserably. When those believers did not wish for help until the final moment of their lives.
– When a white-haired paladin who should have retired from the front lines put on his helmet again and went to the battlefield. When he finally failed to return and ended his life on the battlefield. When the old paladin’s wife returned to an empty house, clutching her husband’s helmet.
The Goddess’s story was slow but did not break off.
The Goddess of the Rusty Shield was a strong god.
But being strong did not mean that not even a scratch was left.
Rather, because she was strong, a scratch once engraved must have remained even longer.
– When a god I was close to failed to overcome their shaking. When their seats gradually decreased, until they lost even the single seat they had barely held, and were pushed out of the council.
– When the last believer who offered prayers to your Goddess—that old woman who had difficulty even moving—carefully wiped your Goddess’s statue with fragrant oil.
– That very evening. The spring evening when that old woman finally passed away. And the following day. For the first time since your Goddess ascended, a day when not a single person offered a prayer to your Goddess.
The Goddess of the Rusty Shield’s voice was wet.
Since the day that old woman passed away, there probably had not been a single person who visited the temple for over a hundred years.
– When I had to spend a long time looking at the temple being covered in dust. And when I thought that such days would continue for a long time, perhaps forever.
The Goddess’s story concluded like that.
Elbridge asked.
“How did you overcome that long suffering, Goddess?”
– Do you not know the answer better than anyone else?
The Goddess of the Rusty Shield laughed.
– Because even though the visitors to the temple had disappeared, I knew that my last believer existed. My most beloved child.